The Bob Sanders, Ryan Grant, Kris Jenkins “I’m Out For the Season” division:
32. New York Jets – Sorry NY. When your penalties almost outgain your offense, you suck.
31. Chicago Bears - Apology #2 Chicago. You are lucky to get a win over the Matt Safford-less Lions.
30. Cleveland Browns – You lost to the Tampa Buccaneers. Enough said.
29. Tampa Bay Bucs – You ALMOST lost to the Browns.
28. Dallas Cowboys – Oh how the mighty have fallen. Thanks for the laughs Tashard Choice.
27. San Francisco 49ers – There are more mysteries surrounding this team than an episode of LOST.
The ‘Time to Hit the Panic Button” division:
26. Washington Redskins – Yeah, you won, but thanks only to the retards in Dallas. Find an offense, please!
25. Minnesota Vikings – Until Sydney Rice returns, Brett Favre won’t be right
24. Buffalo Bills – Oh when, when will you find an offense worth watching? Maybe when CJ Spiller matures as a player.
The “Also-Ran’s division”:
23. Denver Broncos – Wow. You used Tim Tebow in week one AND you lost to Jacksonville. Oh times have changed.
22. Jacksonville Jaguars – Speaking of Jacksonville…is anyone still going to the games??
21. Oakland Raiders – They gave the Titans a game for about a half. Maybe they can put a whole game together this week.
20. St. Louis Rams – Sam Bradford is the real deal. The rest of the team really still needs how to learn to win games they should win.
19. Detroit Lions – We all know they should have won in Chicago. NFL rules state otherwise. Same old story.
18. Carolina Panthers – Really need to regroup. Might be in market for a QB.
17. Philadelphia Eagles – Wolf wolf!! Let the Michael Vick era start in Philly.
The “Pretenders” division:
16. Pittsburgh Steelers – Not bad for week one. A win is a win. Might want to think about scoring some more points though.
15. Atlanta Falcons – I think they are better than this, but they lost to Dennis Dixon and the Steelers…in OT
14. San Diego Chargers – How do you lose to the Kansas City Chiefs, a team you dominated last season?
13. Kansas City Chiefs – Don’t get used to first place, but a nice win on Monday night.
The “Wild-Card” division:
12. Arizona Cardinals – Still don’t know what to make of them. How far can Derek Anderson take them?
11. Cincinnati Bengals – You get a mulligan for being in New England. No such luck this week.
10. Miami Dolphins – Staved off a late Buffalo rally. Good test this week in Minnesota.
9. New York Giants – Early problems turn into good win over Carolina. Can they get a ‘W’ in Indy?
The “Almost Great” division:
8. Indianapolis Colts – Their defense is pitiful, but they most likely find a way to win this week and a lot more going forward.
7. Seattle Seahawks – Great win for a team not expected to do much. Is Matt Hasselbeck back?
6. Houston Texans – Have a legitimate shot at 2-0 in Washington this week. Good start to season by crushing Indy.
5. Tennessee Titans - Chris Johnson is a stud and maybe, just maybe Vince Young is learning to be a complete QB.
4. New Orleans Saints – 14 points won’t win you games every week.
3. Baltimore Ravens – Defense played well when needed. Got help from Jets. Offense needs to score more to win games.
2. Green Bay Packers – Loss of Ryan Grant hurts. They should still be fine.
1. New England Patriots – Welcome back Wes Welker. The Patriots offense doesn’t look like it has missed a step.
Tags: Arizona Cardinals Atlanta Falcons Baltimore Ravens Bob Sanders Brett Favre Buffalo Bills Carolina Panthers Chicago Bears Chris Johnson Cincinnati Bengals CJ Spiller Cleveland Browns Dallas Cowboys Dennis Dixon Denver Broncos Derek Anderson Detroit Lions Green Bay Packers Houston Texans Indianapolis Colts Jacksonville Jaguars Kansas City Chiefs Kris Jenkins LOST Matt Hasselbeck Matt Safford Miami Dolphins Michael Vick Minnesota Vikings New England Patriots New Orleans Saints New York Giants New York Jets Oakland Raiders Philadelphia Eagles Pittsburgh Steelers Ryan Grant Sam Bradford San Diego Chargers San Francisco 49ers Seattle Seahawks St Louis Rams Sydney Rice Tampa Bay Bucs Tashard Choice Tennessee Titans Tim Tebow Vince Young Washington Redskins Wes Welker