It’s mid-May. The NFL Draft is over. They’re about to drop the 2025 schedule this Wednesday, and then, after that? Training camps and…a whole lot of waiting. August’s preseason games seem so far away, so what’s a fan to do?
That’s right: plumb Etsy for Cardinals merch.
Sure, there’s plenty of affordable Cardinals stuff for sale on the team's official store. But, if you’re a fan with discerning taste (maybe? You are a Cardinals fan, so let’s be honest) or you already own everything you want (more likely), what can you do until they drop the Rivalries uniforms/merch? You kill time browsing on Etsy.
And when you do it, you get a better understanding of what it’s like to be an Arizona Cardinals fan.
When You Want To Say 'We've Never Won A Super Bowl'
One of the first things you find after searching for “Arizona Cardinals” is this product from The Laughing Duck Co. The company, which repurposes stock model photos and designs, has seemingly gamed Etsy’s SEO so it’s a top result.
It’s not the best design. It's cookie-cutter, at best. But having it as the first thing you see ("Rebuilding, Since 1920") seems fitting.
As a Cardinals fan, you're always reminded that the team has been just shy of getting it right. Why not wear a shirt that captures the feeling of “The Cardinals have only been in Arizona since 1988, but it feels like a century of disappointment”?
(Look, Laughing Duck has nearly 6k sales and five-star reviews. I may not like their shirts, but they can wipe their tears with money.)
When You Don't Know If You're In Phoenix Or Not
I like this flag from EsportsFashions—even though it’s wrong. It’s got the chonky Cardinal head, the logo the team used when they played under the Phoenix Cardinals moniker. They incorporated the Arizona state flag.
But there you go: it’s the Phoenix Cardinals logo with the “Arizona Cardinals” branding. There’s even a second “Arizona” on the bottom. But this anachronism is perfect for a team that has struggled to have a cohesive identity.
Right now, offensive coordinator Drew Petzing wants to run the ball. He’ll enlist as many tight ends as he can to do so. But how do Kyler Murray and Marvin Harrison Jr. fit into that? And did the Cardinals focus too much on defense in the draft, while ignoring their offensive line? Are they the Arizona Cardinals or the Phoenix Cardinals? This banner is perfect. I’ll take ten.
When You Don't Know If Being A Cardinals Fan Makes You A Furry
One thing I didn’t want to do with this post is crap all over someone’s hard work. Etsy is supposed to be a site full of neat, handcrafted goods. Take a look at this lined apron. Or this Arizona Cardinals/Phoenix Suns facemask. Or this patchwork sweatshirt representing the Arizona sports teams (R.I.P. Coyotes). Someone made these. And that’s awesome!
But a lot of stuff on Etsy is giving Temu-lite. It’s giving “Cardinals Logo dot PNG on cheap goods from China, pre-tariffs.” It’s giving grift.
Another issue is that the Arizona Cardinals are not that inspiring. If you Google “Arizona Cardinals fan art,” what (SFW) results are you gonna find? What has this team done that’s compelling? How will they make fans feel proud enough to go out and make stuff in their honor?
The Cardinals have some exciting players. Some of their rookies have personality. Will Johnson alone has style and swagger. The Cardinals should foster these players to be stars and not hammer them to be faceless workers.
We’ll shout out Knowhere324’s fan art depicting Falco from Starfox as an Arizona Cardinals. It’s nice to see someone inspired by this team, though I’m pretty sure searching for “Arizona Cardinals fanart” put me on a list.
When You Know You'll Die Before They Lift The Lombardi Trophy
An Arizona Cardinals-themed urn.
Look, if this is how you wanna go, I’m not gonna judge. But I think this says that the Arizona Cardinals are gonna be the death of us all.