Things I’d Rather See Other Than Marc Bulger in Arizona


I keep hearing rumors of the Arizona Cardinals being interested in former St. Louis Rams quarterback Marc Bulger.  Why?  We have a backup quarterback already.  I mean, Bulger has been as useful as a gas can at a fire over the past few seasons.

There are some things in this world I’d rather see before Marc Bulger becoming an Arizona Cardinals quarterback.

Kobe Bryant hitting a game winning three against the Phoenix Suns.

Howard Stern Show sidekick JD Harmeyer take over for Howard Stern in 2011.

San Antonio Spurs Center Tim Duncan complain about another phantom foul.

A brawl at a Cardinals-Oakland Raiders game.  Wait, I might get that one in September.

Lane Kiffin leave USC and bolt for the University of Arizona.

Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Geraldo Rivera in my living room for dinner.  Ughh, actually Marc Bulger is now sounding better by the second.

Joe Thiessmann now getting a free shot at Lawrence Taylor as punishment for his crimes.  Sweep the leg Joe!

A blowout loss by the Arizona Diamondbacks.  Oh, too late.  Already saw that one tonight.  Damn!

JaMarcus Russell in Arizona…..ok ok, NOW I’m pushing it and it’s getting serious here.  Kind of like in Leonardo DiCaprio’s character Jack Dawson in Titanic.  It’s all fun and games and sex, then all of a sudden the ship hits an iceberg and starts to sink.  Jack’s love life hits a climax and slowly drifts away… a slow death in the below freezing waters of the Atlantic Ocean seems so much worse than sinking and drowning along with the ship itself.  With Russell, it will seem like you are stuck in the Atlantic Ocean waiting to die.  At least with Bulger, you would feel more like the sinking ship and it would be over quick.  As a veteran, any failure would be short lived with him.

Please I implore, no Marc Bulger in Arizona!

Scott Allen